definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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