Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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