do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
