Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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