I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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