He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
