apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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