I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
