I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
