I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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