But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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