I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
