Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
