just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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