i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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