In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
