Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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