he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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