That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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