I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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