I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
