So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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