I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
