I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
