I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
COCAINE IS GR8
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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