I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
