I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
