i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
