Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
