Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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