I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
