Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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