There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are we still banned from the library?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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