I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Drake has all the answers
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
