If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Four minutes until I can fart!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
