why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
love makes seman taste better
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
