I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
