Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
