Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
