Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
