Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
