Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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