u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
