did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
