god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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