Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
