This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
