You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
