we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
