I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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