I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
where am i from again
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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