nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
