I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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