Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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