that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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