No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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