I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
