Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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