the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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