I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
